A Long Time Ago, In a Wiki Chat Far, Far Away...
---The scene starts as Heo is on a mission for the rebels the the snow---
Heo: *on the radio* BOLIEVE to rebel base, BOLIEVE to rebel base
Rocky: Rebel base receiving
Heo: Look, I can't find any Taco Bells out here
Rocky: Look beaner you had one job, getting us tacos is like the only thing you're useful for!
Heo: But I can't find any!
Rocky: BS! There's gotta be a Taco Bell somewhere on this planet! Besides, you're Mexican this should be like a second nature to you!
Rocky: Look kid we're not letting you back in unless you have tacos, rebel base out!
Heo: That hijo de puta...
---Heo continues walking but begins to get delerious---
Heo: *singing to himself* AND LET THEM SEE YOU... IN MEEEEE *a tear rolls down his eye*
Chwiis: *Appears as a vision* Yo fgt
Heo: Master Chwiis...
Chwiis: You will go to the Deghetto system... there you will meet Master Grassda, he will teach you the way of Shrek *vanishes*
Heo: Chwiiiiiis! CHWWWWWIIIIIIIIIS! *faints*
Rocky: Beaner... I mean BOLIEVE come in! BOLIEVE come in!
Rocky: FFS he's dead isn't he!?
---The scene cuts to Darth Rocker's ship---
Rocker: Admiral, has the new troop of stormtroopers arrived?
Empire General: Lord Vader, yes they arrived this morning. They're a special kind known for their brutality. They're called 'socktoopers'.
---The socktroopers walk in---
CRACKER: Yo fellow Americans, I'm here to kill all jews, blacks, arabs, asians, beaners and especially those filthy rebels!
SPAZ: Eye agree with yoo, deth too them
GOsama: If they do not accept Islam as their salvation they will die by the sword!
DOUCHeo: Hola como estas?
AssyrianAsylum: I am here to serve you Rimie... I mean Rocker
Pikachu is Not A Jew: Btw we found the location of the rebel base... that will be $20
Rocker: Sorry jan, I spent it all on Nikes
Pikajew is Not a Jew: ME NEEDS MONEYYYYY
Rocker: Tell me the location of the rebel base, jew
Pikajew: I AM NOT A JEW YOU RACIST
Rocker: You can’t be racist to pasty whites *force chokes Pikajew* Now tell me
Pikachu: Fine they’re on the planet Hoth
Rocker: Excellent! Plot a course for there, we're gonna go all reverse slavery on these white scum!
---The scene cuts to the in the snow again---
Rebel Pilot: Come in rebel base, I got us tacos!
Pilot: Oh I also found that Mexican kid's body just lying there so I thought bring him in I guess
Rocky: *sighs* Fine.... let him in I guess
---Scene cuts to inside the rebel base, as Toast and Ally are sitting alone---
Ally: OMG, I haven't had sex for like a day, Toast I am so horny right now
Ally: Mmmmm it's so cold on this planet, it's time for me to get Toasty
Ally: Ok Toast, let's get this started
Toast: NO FLEX ZONE
Ally: But Toast...
Toast: THEY KNOW BETTER
Ally: Please Toast! I need this!
Toast: YOU NEED TOASTUS!
Ally: I WANT SEX I WANT SEX
---Just as Ally is saying that Heo enters in a wheelchair being pulled by Dark along with Fiz---
Heo: Me... can... sex
Ally: Ahaha, no thanks. You being ugly and all...
Fiz: OMG ALLY! HI!
Heo: *Trying to looks suave* Sooo... were you worried about me?
Ally: Eh not really. How did you survive anyway?
Heo: I prayed to Jesus and BOLIEVED
Rocky: *walks in* Ghey
Dark: Don't worry Heo
Dark: The pilot got us tacos so we didn't go hungry
---Suddenly shots and screaming is heard from another room as socktroopers storm the base---
GOsama: *bursts in* Hands up infidels! This is a jihad! You are now hostages of the Islamic State!
Toast: STOP IN THE NAME OF TOAST *throws bits of Toast at GOsama, knocking him out*
Rocky: We gotta get to the Cashew Falcon! RUN!
Fiz: *screaming like a girl* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
---Toast, Rocky, Fiz and Ally all run out of the room---
Heo: (in wheelchair) Come on Dark go!
Dark: I'm too Max Goof to run for my life
---The scene cuts to Ally, Rocky, Fiz and Toast running up to the Cashew Falcon---
CRACKER: You aint getting away so easily you dirty foreigners
Rocky: OH SHIT! YOU SCARED THE FUCK OUT OF ME! *shoots him*
---They all get on the ship---
Rocky: That was close, let's get out of here Toast
---The Cashew Falcon takes off into space, as the scene cuts back to Heo and Dark---
Heo: Look Dark if we don't go now we're going to be captured by the Empire
Heo: *sighs* I didn't want to do this...
Dark: Do what boi?
Heo: If you dont go this instant I'm going to have to demote you back to mod!
Dark: *Suddenly goes towards a rebel ship at 100 miles an hour*
Heo: Thank you
Dark: Happy boi?
Heo: Si, now get in *the ship takes off*
---The scene cuts back to the four in the Cashew Falcon---
Fiz: Woo we escaped! I brought some weed to celebrate!
Ally: OMG YAY! Maybe we can have an orgy as well!
Rocky: Hold up, we aint out of the woods yet
---They are attacked by more socktroopers in ships---
SPAZ: How doo yoo flie this?
GOsama: Time to do my 9-11 brothers proud! ALULULULULU!
Rocky: I know what to do *puts on sunglasses as he flies into an asteroid field*
Fiz: OMG RU CRAZY? WE'RE GONNA DIE IN HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Rocky: Have some weed and chill tf out! I got this!
Fiz: Ok *smokes*
SPAZ: *gets hit by an asteroid* THIS IZ RIGGED!
Rocky: One down one to go!
GOsama: ALLAH U AKBAR! *pulls an Al Qaeda and crashes head on into an asteroid*
Rocky: See bitches, I told you I had this
Ally: Omg you are making me sooooo horny right now
---Suddenly the engine stops and the ship crash lands on an asteroid---
Rocky: Ah shit!
---Meanwhile Heo and Dark are on their way to the Deghetto system---
Heo: Alright here we are *lands the ship*
---The pair walk through the local run-down ghettos, rubbish is spewn everywhere as Heo sees the local black 'hood gangs' eating chicken and eyeing him off like they are about to beat his ass---
Heo: *gulp* We better find Master Grassda quickly, I dont think we're welcome here.
Hooded figure: *taps Heo on the shoulder* How about you come in my van little boy... I have free candy!
Heo: Um... sorry. Aunt Consuela told me not to accept candy from strangers
Hooded guy: Look you're coming with me bitch *takes out a baseball bat and KOs Heo and Dark*
---The scene cuts to a Dark dungeon, Heo is strapped to an old table in the middle of the room---
Heo: *wakes up* Where... Where am I?
Hooded guy: That... doesn't matter. Why have you come here?
Heo: I was sent here to learn how to become a Jedi from Master Grassda
Hooded guy: Who sent you?
Heo: Master Chwiis sent me. Who are you?
Hooded guy: *Takes off his hood to reveal Grass* I am master Grassda
Heo: Holy shit dude you look like 900 years old!
Grass: Stfu I'm 19
Grass: You're Mexican anyway so you're opinion is irrelevant
Grass: So you want training hey?
Heo: Yes please
Grass: Ok how loose is your anus?
Heo: Ummmm, not very...
Grass: Ok, well it looks like we've got a lot of training to do then *puts a strap-on on*
---The scene cuts to Rocky and Toast trying to repair the ship---
Rocky: Argh for fuck sake this thing is beyond repair!
Rocky: Do you know what to do Toast?
Rocky: Ofc you dont you can't even fucking talk properly!
Toast: Actually my friend I was going to suggest you repair the automatic hyperdrive by manually overriding the polarity of the engine whilst also topping up the flux capacitor of the shield-core but if you don't want to listen to me that's fine.
Rocky: Wait what? o.O
Toast: Oh sorry... I mean... TOAST!
---20 mins later the ship is up and running again---
Ally: Omg this is great but we need to find somewhere to hide from the Empire so we can have our orgies in peace.
Rocky: Don't worry I know just the place!
---Meanwhile whilst Grass is showing Heo several 'thrusting' exercises, a noise is heard from outside---
Heo: Grass can we stop now? It's hurting!
Grass: Holy shit what's that noise?
Grass: Can you go check it out for me? *gives Heo a baseball bat*
Heo: Ummm... ok *nervously walks outside and sees a black guy who looks exactly like Rocker*
Black guy: Yo fuck you dawg! You still owe me money for your sister's weed!
Heo: GAAH! *whacks the guy dead with the bat and runs inside*
Grass: Dude! I saw the whole thing! You weren't meant to kill him!
Heo: But... I thought it was Darth Rocker or some test that you devised as part of my training
Grass: No tf
Dark: Welp... *laughing his ass off*
Grass: Great now the coppers are gonna be on my tail again! You better get out of here so I can hide the evidence!
Heo: But my training...
Grass: I SAID GET OUT!
---Heo and Dark leave as police sirens are heard---
Grass: Ah shit...
---Meanwhile the other four are arriving at Cloud City---
Ally: Omg this place looks like Vegas, you thinking what I'm thinking?
Rocky: It's run by my old friend Aqua Caliressian, he'll take care of us
Toast: I'm shaking my head, the author of this FF has obviously missed a chance for a perfect type casting as Rocker, being the only black guy on TDRPW and Lando, being the only black guy in Star Wars would've been a perfect match. Unfortunately, Chwiis had already foolishly cast Rocker as Darth Vader, when really that part could've gone to like Chip or GO or someone else. That stupid Australian.
Toast: I mean... TOAST! Shit I think I'm coming down with something!
---Rocky lands the ship and Aqua comes out to greet them---
Aqua: OMG GUISE! Like, welcome to my #city! You're just in time because #BigBrother is on!
Fiz: Yay BB!
Ally: Do you have triple rooms here? Me, Rocky and Toast have some... business to attend to...
Aqua: *whispering to Rocky* Like #ew why are you hanging around with that skank? She looks so ratchet!
Rocky: Not my fault she is desperate for a taste of 'the Rock'
Aqua: Ok let me show you to your rooms
---Aqua shows them the room and walks out---
Rocker: So all going according to plan then white boi?
Aqua: *sighs* Like yeah but I dont want them #harmed
Rocker: All I want is Heo, what happens to Rocky is up to Garret Fett
Garret: *appears* The bitch owes money to JRO the Hutt so he's coming with me *giggles like a rapist*
---1 Hour Later---
Aqua: Ok guys it's like #TimeForDinner so #ComeWithMe
Rocky: Ok he's acting weird as fuck, something is up I can tell
Aqua: Ok here's the #DiningRoom *opens the door revealing Rocker and Garret*
Rocker: Welcome ignorants
Rocky: OH SHIT! YOU SCARED THE FUCK OUTTA ME! *shoots*
Rocker: *Uses his Keanu Reeves powers to block the bullets*
Ally: Does this mean the orgy is off?
---The scene cuts to a dark room where Rocky is about to be frozen in carbonite---
Rocker: Rocky will be frozen in carbonite and Garret will take him to JRO. The others will remain in custody here.
Rocky: But that's BS!
Rocker: How does it feel to have roles reversed now bitches? A Black guy unfairly imprisoning whites! It just goes to show that racism is still alive and well in America!
Rocky: Piss off Black Attack!
Rocker: Why you racist, ignorant piece of white trash *punches him in the chest* Now I gtg, I sense Skywalker is coming! *leaves*
Garret: Alright let's freeze the man...
Rocky: Toast you look after everyone while I'm gone, and don't eat my cashews!
Toast: MAY TOAST BE WITH YOU
Rocky: And Ally....
Rocky: I'd fuck you...
''---Rocky is lowered into the machine, where he is frozen and his body is brought back up and slammed on the ground---''
Garret: You're mine now bitch *takes his body away, giggling*
Aqua: Ok good everyone is gone, I'll #help you, come with me!
''---They all run towards the Cashew Falcon and take off, as the scene cuts to Heo, who is very conveniently and coincidentally also stopping over at Cloud City---''
Heo: Alright Dark we just need to stop for a bit so I can get some ice cream, you want any?
Dark: Nah I'm too Max Goof for ice cream
Heo: Fine *tries to open the door to the city* open this door then
Dark: Again, too Max Goof
Heo: You know, if you overuse a gag too much it begins to stop being funny
Dark: Nah, I'm too Max Goof for my gags to stop being funny
Heo: You puta
Dark: Don't worry Heo...
Dark: I'm sure one day you'll tell a joke that might make somebody laugh
Heo: >.> *tries to use the power of Shrek to open the door* It wont open!
---Suddenly the door opens again, revealing Rocker on the other side---
Rocker: Hello there
Heo: GAH! *draws lightsaber*
---They fight, Heo tries hard to defeat Rocker but Rocker is just toying with him---
Rocker: Ok no offence but you suck at fighting jan
Heo: Shut up!
Rocker: I have something to discuss with you
Heo: I dont want to hear it!
Rocker: I have your friends...
Heo: WHY YOU HIJO DE PUTA! *attacks harder*
Rocker: *cuts Heo's hand off*
Heo: OW! Wtf amigo!
Rocker: Chwiis never told you what happened to your father...
Heo: He told me enough. He told me you killed him!
Rocker: No Heo, I am your father...
Heo: Wait... how tf does that make sense?
Rocker: Look jan, I'm black, you're hispanic, join me and together we can take down this white, ignorant society.
Heo: I'll never join you *jumps off the balcony*
Rocker: Typical Mexican
Heo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *somehow the end of his shoe clings onto a wire on the bottom of the city*
---Meanwhile the Cashew Falcon just happens to be flying past---
Fiz: Hey look there's Heo!
Toast: You know massive coincidences in stories indicates poor writing
Ally: He's a pretty shitty root but I guess we should get him. After all, we need him for taco bell runs.
Aqua: Ok I'll #GetHimDown *gets Heo's body and brings him in*
---The scene cuts to a hospital where Heo is getting a robotic arm and Ally, Fiz and Dark are watching on---
Heo: What happened?
Ally: You got your ugly ass beat by Rocker
Heo: What happened to the hand that God gave me?
Dark: It's gone boi
Heo: Wait Dark how did you escape the city?
Dark: Easy, I'm too Max Goof to not escape...
---Meanwhile Aqua and Toast are still on the Cashew Falcon---
Aqua: *on radio* BOLIEVE come in, BOLIEVE come in
Heo: BOLIEVE receiving
Aqua: BOLIEVE is such a #ratchet name js
Aqua: Anyway, we'll meet up again later, where we are gonna #SaveRocky
Ally: See you Toast, hopefully we can fuck again some other time!
Toast: MAY TOAST BE WITH YOU
---The cashew falcon takes off and zooms off at light speed---
Heo: You know Ally, if you are feeling horny we can always...
Heo: But we'd have to get married first, no sex before marriage and all
Ally: I said NO!
Fiz: I know I'm not Rj but you just got #Blindsided
---The scene cuts to Garret's ship as Garret is humping Rocky's carbonated body---
Garret: Giggity gig! That's all folks!