("Get Lucky" plays as the camera goes around the arena before landing at the announce table.)
Hijo: Hello everyone and welcome to TDRPW Summerslam, the biggest party of the summer!
Devon: Man, I'm so hyped, before school is in we get to finish all of our problems, once and for all!
Hijo: Indeed, the biggest problem we've seen is the fight between TDRPW and Team Lush which all started a month ago when Lush invaded an episode of Chatdown and attempted to perform a take over with him and his goons which proved to be unsuccessful. Since then it's been an all out war between the two and it will culminate tonight in a no disqualification, anything goes, 3 on 3 fight between the admins of TDRPW: Heo Dallas, Rocky and Boograssi versus Lush, Mega and Sonicfan!
Devon: It's going to be like GODuncan in a room with Ally and Heather, nobody is making it out in one piece!
Hijo: Damn right, also don't forget The Fite Me IRL match which was taped earlier in the Australian Outback between Chwiis and Rocker, here is a picture of what happened during the match as you can see there is some crazy stuff going on here.
(An image is on the screen of Rocker on top of a kangroo punching it in the face as Chwiis is sneaking behind him with a chair in his hand.)
Devon: Holy crap, that is going to be an explosive match! And speaking of explosive matches we got Fiz and Chip in a japanese style explosive steel cage match!
Hijo: Don't forget, If Fiz loses not only does his little brother get to destroy his Ipad on the spot but he must quit smoking weed!
Devon: That would be heart breaking but not as heart breaking as the stipulation that Chip must go with if he loses, he must make an OC for his mortal enemy!
Hijo: Yeah, this surely will be one crazy show but right now let's head to the room which holds our principle owners of TDRPW.
(The camera fades in and out as it switches to the TDRPW owners, clad in suits sitting in their room as Heo annoyingly plays his guitar.)
Heo: Let them see you, in MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, Let them FeEeEeeeeEllll you, when I SPEAK!!!!!!!!
Boograssi: You're singing sucks pal, #DealWithIt
Rocky: I know right, jesus christ eat some domino's so we don't have to hear you talk.
Heo: You can't talk to me like that, I'm an inspiration, I have had to go to sleep and head to school for the past TWO DAYS and I still have time to hand water to the homeless, make some English girls on Facebook's day and record my latest hit single " Digimon Is Love"!
Boograssi: Pffttt....back in my day we had real music, The Beatles, James Brown...
Rocky.....How old are you?
Boograssi: Old enough. But that's not the point, the point is we have a BIG match tonight, this is our yard and there is no way we can let those guys beat us.
Heo: Yeah man, all we have to do is BOLIEVE!
Rocky: Shut the fuck up.
Rocky: I swear to god if you cost us the match I'm heading over to your sweltering ass home state and kicking your ass.
Boograssi : So, we need a gameplan these guys could be dangerous, what if they have interference.
Rocky: Dark got us covered.
Heo: Well Dark used to hang with them, what if he backstabs us?
Rocky: I swear you have the crappiest ideas....
Boograssi: It's a good point actually, it could happen.
Rocky: Defending Heo yet again huh Grass, always knew there was something "bring bring" about you.
Boograssi: Whatever fuq boi, you like Tony so already your opinion is invalid.
Rocky: Well you think Caleb is a BB player, so you can't really judge.
Boograssi: Kiss my ass
Rocky: You mad?
Heo: Guys, chill.
Both: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
???: So, dem llamas.
(The camera zooms out a little bit as you can see Dark with Amy and Samey each locked in one of his arms side by side. The crowd who is staring at the big screen in the arena can be heard cheering in the background.)
Rocky: Hey Dark, can you shut these two fools up and tell them you have our backs for the big main event tonight, I mean it's obvious you wouldn't side with those guys.
Rocky: See? He's got our backs, now let's roll, I hear DJ's in the building!
Heo: DJ's such a loser, if I saw Heather's legs in that bathroom, maaaaannn, I would have been all over that....
(The three walk out of the room, leaving Dark in their on his own as Dean heads in with a microphone in his hands.)
Dean: Dark, are you really going to join your fellow admins should the time come?
(Dark looks on a little shaken before putting his lips to the mic.)
Dark: I'm just.......
(Dark turns his head away before turning back)
Dark: *puts on shades* Too Max Goof to answer.
(Dark walks off.)
Dean: Thank you for the response!.....Prick.
(The camera fades back to the announcers table.)
Hijo: Well that sure was crazy, we still have a lot in store though on this pre show, remember you can watch this only on the RPNX Network, for 9.99!
Devon: Don't you remember Hijo? Heo lowered the price to a huge deal of 1.99 or if you would like to round it, 2 dollars!
Hijo: Dang, even the cheapest of the cheap can watch this show, and it's all thanks to our sponsors: Taki's and Benny's Late Night Water Slides!
Devon: Indeed, thank you guys for making this event possible, we have a packed house here tonight, ready to see some fighting, let's go back to hyping this baby up!
(Zeebem and Windindi are seen outside of the arena trying to get in.)
Windindi: Why can't we get in?
Security: I don't even know who the hell you are.
Zee: But we're fellow TDRPW stars, we should be allowed in!
Security: We don't see you on the list.
Zee: Are you sure you don't see us on the list boi ;)
Windindi: *weirded out* STOP THAT!
Security: What he said, now you can back away or we will force you to leave.
Windindi: Fine we'll leave sir....RRFEDGFDHJGFJKHGK
(Windindi is tazed and left on the floor.)
Security: Damn, was hoping you'd resist. Welp, keep this hush, hush, ok?
Zee: We will...
(Zee stares on at Windindi's unconcious body, looks around and drags him by the legs off screen.)
Alex: Toasters and gentleman in just about 15 minutes Summerslam is officially on the air. Everybody is looking forward to the matches but in between the action I will be here all night, giving you hard hitting news that will leave your jaw dropping. See you then!
(Alex walks off stage. The classic scooby doo theme songs plays just as the Mystery Machine rolls down the ramp. It stops at the end as Scooby and the gang burst out the back of it with Metanuki.)
Hijo: It seems it is now time for our pre show contest, Devon, what a way to wet these viewers appetites than with everyone's favorite member, Meta.
Devon: I wouldn't say everyone's favorite member, him and Bat have been having quite the online feud as of late but unfortunately they could not handle it tonight due to Bat having a match which will open the main show against JRO. He told me though that he talked to the board of directors and he was able to hand pick who Meta will face tonight and that it will be an old friend of his, I can't wait!
"I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL!"
(Wrecking Ball plays as Garret, in skin colored pants and fish net tank top walks down the ramp. He walks toward Fred, rubs his chest and jumps in his arms as Fred carries him into the ring and places him in the corner.)
Hijo: Well I guess Fred will be backing Garret tonight and Shaggy will be backing Meta.
Devon: Seems so, this should make for an interesting contest.
V.Von: The follow contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, OMGitsGarret!
(Boo's fill the arena.)
Garret: My wonderful, wonderful fans! *gets hit by a water bottle* Thank you, every body knows how thirsty I can be! :D
V.Von: And in the corner to my right, my fellow eater of wombat, METANUKI!
(The crowd cheers and the bell rings as the match begins.)
Devon: This thing is underway now, it is sure to be a great match.
Hijo: Not with what's happening now, Fred just put on a zombie mask and is chasing Shaggy all around the ring!
Devon: Hehe, it makes for good distraction! Garret gets in a cheap shot and look, Shaggy ran into the ring but tripped and fell on the rope, idiot!
Hijo: Well whose the idiot now, Total Drama PI winner Shawn is hear and takes Fred out with a chair, looks like he can't go to follow Shaggy!
Devon: Come on Fred it's just a head wound!
(Meta goes to punch Garret but he dodges and backs away only to follow over on Shaggy who's on his hands and knees then land on the bottom turnbuckle with the back of his head.)
Hijo: Holy crap, the guy is out cold! Meta drags him, he goes for the pinfall, ONE, TWO, THREE, IT'S OVER!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
V.Von: The winner of this match, Metanuki!
Hijo: That sure was quick..
Devon: It's not fair, Meta didn't even beat him, that baffoon Shaggy fell, Garret didn't see him, and it cost him!
Hijo: Oh whatever, Garret has been an annoyance for months and he finally got his!
(Meta celebrates with the crew and suddenly Fiz runs in with a joint in his hand as he passes it to the gang and parties.)
Devon: Hey, what's going on, that guy should be preparing for his big match with Chip!
Hijo: Like the tagline says, It's the biggest party of the summer, I didn't know Mystery Inc were that kind of hippies though, haha.
Devon: This is a travesty....
Hijo: Lighten up.
Geoff: Yeah, quit being such a PARTY POOPER!
Devon: Who is that guy, security, a fan just walked to the set!
(Geoff runs into the Mystery Machine and drives it backstage to avoid being tackled. The scene then pans to JRO with Dean.)
Dean: JRO, tonight you go one on one with Bat in a strap match which has been dubbed "A Battle of The Whipping Boys", your thoughts?
JRO: I don't care about the match because I know when all else fails, there is my secret weapon which my girl Dawn will take care of if needed.
Dawn: Help me....
JRO: SHUT UP YOU WHORE!....Excuse me *laughs nervously* We like to play this game where we act like I'm some crazy guy who keeps her in the basement and give her dinner left overs.
Dawn: He never gives me left overs, even when he tries to their eaten by the time he reaches the end of the steps......
JRO: DAWN SHUSH!
Dean: Uh......Dark will also be there at ringside, does that worry you?
JRO: Not at all, Dark is way too Max Goof to jump me from behind, we may have our problems but at the end of the day, as fellow "XD" Brothers, we have respect for each other. Now Dawn, it is time to for your hourly sponge bath!
Dawn: Oh god......
Dean Um, back to you Hijo.
Hijo: Not much to really say......
Devon: I have something to say, shout out to my girl Ally who will be fighting TD, hopefully after the match he learns to STFU!
Hijo: You're starting to sound like GO now.
Devon: What? Me and GO are nothing alike.
Hijo:....Ok. Well, I'm Hijo Williams, and he's Devon Duncans, we're signing off, we'll see you for Summerslam!
(The production logo pops up on the screen just before the screen turns black.)
Announcer: TDRPW and Benny's Late Night Water Slides presents......SUMMERSLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Fireworks shoot up near the stage with "Get Lucky" blaring in the background while cheers can be heard all around the arena.)
Hijo: Sold out crowd here tonight, as we welcome you to the official TDRPW Summerslam, and I'll tell you what Devon, boy have I been chomping at the bit to see this show!
Devon: Me too Hijo, we definitely have some barn burners on this card that will blow you, me, this arena and everyone watching at home right away, I'm hyped, our grand finale to one hell of a summer, this is going to be insane!
Hijo: Indeed, I can't wait any longer, let's go to V.Von for our opening contest.
V.Von: Our first match of the evening is a country whipping match, scheduled for one fall. In this match both competitors are given straps which can be used in any way that they please.
(Bat comes out while "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" is played on the PA.)
V.Von: Coming down the aisle, BatmanTDI!
Devon: Here comes one of the most underappreciated stars of our generation, a true icon in the Total Drama community.
Hijo: Sure *rolls eyes*
(The Super Mario Brothers beat plays as an excited JRO runs down the ramp.)
V.Von: INTRODUCING, JRO123!
Hijo: Here comes JRO one of the nicer guys here at TDRPW
Devon: BS, he should get kicked repeatedly as far as I'm concerned >.>
Hijo: Here it begins and both guys are just hitting each other with those belts! Bat's getting the upperhand at the moment but here comes Mario JRO jumping on the head of Bat!
Devon: Bat just through his belt in the air and it got tied to JRO's foot he's just slamming the guy back and forth!
Hijo: Not for long Devon mah boi, power up time JRO just grew in size, holy crap!
Devon: Bat is running out of the ring now, he's scared as hell right now!
Hijo: What the heck is Bat doing is he getting out a twinkie?
Devon: Quit questioning him, Hijo that's r00d!
Hijo: Whatever...he just pulled out a box of twinkies and laid one on the ground, strange....JRO just stepped on it!
Devon: HOW CRUEL!
Hijo: What the hell is going on, weird golden sponges are circling the arena...HOLY CRAP THEY'RE TWINKIES HERE TO HELP THEIR FAMILY!
Bat: Mikey, Rick, how are you doing? Sorry I couldn't make the family reunion. Cousin Bruce, long time no see!
Hijo: They're ganging up on poor JRO what the hell! The power up is fading and he just fell into the ring, it's like a dog pile here!
Devon: That's what Horny123 gets for messing with Bat's family!
Hijo: Shut up, this is just unfair! Wait a minute, Dawn is getting in the ring!
Devon: SHE NEEDS TO GET OUT NOW!
Hijo: She just pulled out a disk...It's Total Drama PI on DVD, the heck is that going to do?
Devon: Nothing, that's what, it's useless like her aura readings, she couldn't even stop Scott in ROTI!
Hijo: She put it in JRO....HE JUST DID A BACK FLIP OUT OF THE PILE! HOLY CRAP HE HAS THE ABILITIES OF SKY!!!!!
Devon: This is cheating, what the heck is this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hijo: JRO just used his godding powers to fly and grab Bat, he through Bat's body on top of the twinkies and smashed them!
Devon: OH THE HUMANITY!!!!!!!!!!!
Hijo: JRO is beating Bat with that whip like he's Ed Mcdonald! He pins Bat, it could be over!
V.Von: The winner of this match, JRO123!!!!!!!!!!
Hijo: YES! YES!
Devon: THIS IS A FREAKING TRAVESTY, OH GODUNCAN! Excuse me *cough* OH GOD!
Hijo: JRO did it, get over it!
(A commercial promoting TDM 2, coming soon)
Alex: Hello, ladies and gentlemen I have some breaking news. Heo was arrested 2 weeks before the show for indecent exposure at a local Dairy Queen. The police later arrested him and placed him in a cell where a man named Troy Archello made him his jail bitch. When asked why he claimed to be "The Xtreme Radical Sexual Predator". More on that shortly!
Hijo: Thank you Alex, great news, let's get to more TDRPW action!
(RJ and J'Tia are seen standing in the ring as the bell rings.)
Devon: From what I hear RJ said he didn't want to waste any time with entrances, he wanted to fight right away and here we go!
Hijo: Before RJ and J'Tia can even fight here comes Morgan from Survivor and she's just pulling away at her hair!
Hijo: Wait, another girl is coming in! Is that Brittany from Big Brother?
Devon: It looks like it! BITCH SLAP BY BRITTANY!
Hijo: RJ JUST PULLED OUT HER WEAVE OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Devon: So far this is match is just like J'Tia: not pretty at all!
Hijo: RJ bodyslams J'Tia, he gets on the top turnbuckle and...HE DIVES ON TOP OF HER!
V.Von: Winner of this match, SteelWolf, aka RJ!!!!!!!!!
Hijo: 2 matches in already, these matches have been going by insanely fast!
Devon: Hopefully that isn't the case for the rest of the night I have some Fast Eddies about to be delivered real soon and I'm not having it go to waste.
Hijo: Isn't Fast Eddies all the way in Canada?
Devon: I had my friend Sam transport it here.
(J'Tia rolls out of the ring and grabs a bag which is laying on the ring steps.)
RJ: GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF THOSE DVDS!
J'Tia: If I'm losing I'm going to lose in style. I'm throwing these DVDs into the fire!
Hijo: When the hell was there a fire at ringside?
Devon: Just go with it.
Hijo: But it makes no sense-
Devon: It's for the sake of the plot now shut up.
RJ: Please don't do it!
J'Tia: Sorry..NOT SORRY.
(J'Tia pulls out the DVDs.)
J'Tia: Bootleg Jocasta live feed DVDs? You know what, this crap ain't worth burning.
Hijo: HAPPY DAYS FOR ALL OF US!
(J'Tia bitterly walks off as the crowd boos her. The camera then cuts to Windindi and Zeebem outside again dressed up this time.)
Zee: *changes his voice* Hello, my name is TDIFan13, or Ryan if you like. The person next to me is my life partner and the love of my life, Jayden :D
Wind: I'm angry!
Security: Yeah, not buying it.
Zee: Not buying it? We're the real deal!
Security: Do you really want to get tazed again?
Wind: IF YOU DO ANYTHING BAD TO ME I SWEAR I WILL TAKE PICTURES OF IT AND HAVE RYAN GET YOU GLOBALLY BANNED FROM WORKING AT ARENAS!
Security: I'll just say it was somebody impersonating me.
Wind: DAMN IT, TELL ME, WHO ISN'T ALLOWING US IN?
(The guard looks through his notes and finds the paper.)
Security: Well Wind it seems Boograssi banned you from events for a year for being "a homophobic jackass" and Zee it seems we needed to make room for somebody else.
Zee: Who took my spot?
(A very exceptional individual walks by with a VIP pass in his hand as the guard opens the door for him.)
SPAZ: Hello, is Kody here!?
Security: Um, yeah, sure kid.
Zee: Him? Are you serious? UGH! I promise you: we will get in that building!
Security: Sure you will......
(A commercial is shown with Ally standing in front of the camera.)
Ally: Hello, I'm Ally Moon. Do you ever feel dull? Boring? Or out right emotionless? Thanks to these pills you can feel just how I feel! Sad, happy, mad, depressed, upbeat and overexcited all within a matter of minutes. To get a bottle just call 1-800- that camera is looking at me funny! It's obvious he doesn't like me I'm out of here!
(The camera then cuts to Alex on the stage at his news set up.)
Alex: I'm back for more breaking news. Just earlier today Fiz announced he was opening a school thanks to his weed profits. Not just any school! Fiz' Twerking Academy! You can take the classes on three different levels. Stripper, Lindsay and Miley level bitch! More info can be found on his website, back to you Hijo!
V.Von: Our next contest is an explosive steel cage match scheduled for one fall. The rules are that at any random period in the match that cage's explosives will come on. They will keep randomly exploding until the match is over.
(Chip comes out to "Sunshine" by Teddybears to a chorus of boos. He stops at the cage door, hesitant to answer. He gulps and his face becomes serious, you can see that he's focused. He enters the ring flipping the bird to the crowd as a giant flag hangs over the ring with a troll face on it.)
Devon: Chip is definitely ready for action, especially with how high the stakes are.
Hijo: Yeah, imagine having to make an OC for your sworn enemy in front of the entire world!
(A Bob Marley remix and out comes Fiz walking through the crowd smoking a blunt. He passes it to a fan as they pass it to one another, taking a puff. He enters the cage, eyes set on Chip.)
Hijo: You can just sense the hatred!
Devon: HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH FIZ!?
Hijo: Fiz nailed him right in the balls!
Fiz: *spits* Bitch.
Devon: HOW DISRESPECTFUL, CHIP WASN'T READY!
Hijo: He seems more than ready now, he just tripped up Fiz and is wailing on him, he's trying to choke the life out of Fiz!
Devon: Fiz played dirty so Chip is playing dirty back. Hey, Fiz is gouging at Chip's eyes, they were even steven!
Hijo: He's trying to get Chip off him and he succeeded, now he's on top of Chip and punching away!
Devon: Hey, look who's here to support his son chip!
Hank Hill: *watching the fight and shaking his head* There's something wrong with that boy....
Hijo: Hank Hill and Strickland propane are also the ones helping us here with the explosives, so big thanks to them. Speaking of thanks, Chip can thank Fiz for grinding his face against the cold steel fencing of that cage!
Devon: Way to go Chip, fighting off Fiz with those elbows to the gut!
Hijo: You complain about Fiz for playing dirty Chip just punched him in the throat, I'm sure Hank just loves that!
Hank Hill: There's only one thing I love and that's propane and propane accesories.
Hijo: Uhm, alright....
Devon: Chip is stomping down on Fiz, this is just fantastic! He's got weapons now, he has a pen and is trying to stab Fiz in the face!
Hijo: How can you enjoy this? He is trying to maim this young man! Thank god Fiz is fighting back, so far it hasn't made contact with his skin.
Devon: Not for long, Chip just kneed him in the stomach, not much fight left in him with that.
Hijo: Oh dear god, he has his hand up, and he brings it down of Fiz' head!
Devon: *cough* What the hell?
Hijo: It must be the...*cough*..explosives...*cough cough*
(The smoke clears and Chip and Fiz are laying on the mat hurt while Hank admires his work with a beer in his hand.)
Hank Hill: Awww. Propane truly is the greatest thing ever invented....
Alejandro: Hola, mind sharing that beer amigo?
Hank Hill: No thanks. Sorry.
Hijo: Welp, now we have a fight going on out of the cage, this is why we shouldn't have special guests outside!
Devon: Hey, who doesn't like a good fight?
Hijo: Yeah, I suppose, but let's pay attention to the fight going on in the ring. Fiz is climbing the cage....he's on top, what is he about to do...OH MY GOD!
Devon: He just did a leg drop from the top of the cage! Cover!
Hijo: No, Chip kicked out, that was so close! That must suck, Fiz just put his body on the line to beat Chip but it didn't work and now he has to deal with the pain.
Devon: Chip now has Fiz in a head lock, he is in control AND HE USES THAT CONTROL TO SLAM THE BACK OF FIZ HEAD INTO THE CAGE!
Hijo: How brutal, he follows up with a clothesline! Chip looks smug as hell even with blood on his face! He's going for another move but look, Fiz locked in the crossface! His hands arm wrapped around Chip's nose and he's pulling back, this has got to hurt!
Devon: Chip fights out of it and continues his onslaught of punches! He picks up Fiz and slams him into the cage yet again! Chips wraps his arm around the side of Fiz' head and falls back, bringing Fiz down with him face first into the canvas!
Hijo: That was a brutal DDT, Chip is going for the cover. One. Two. Kickout! Fiz will not be seperated from his weed tonight!
Devon: Both are on their feet now. They are going back and forth with punches.
Hijo: This isn't a match anymore it's a war.
(When Chip punches the crowd boos and when Fiz punches the crowd goes nuts. Fiz starts punching more and more until Chip can't fire back.)
Hijo: Fiz is on a roll now, punch after punch, after punch, he's focused, he just slapped Chip on his chest leaving a big red mark, now that's what you call a chop!
Devon: Oh no, oh no, oh no, come on Chip you son of a bitch I bet money on you!
Hijo: That cash is about to go to waste now, Fiz is dominating, slaps to the face now, kick's to the side, a roundhouse straight to the face, Fiz is about to finish it!!!!!!!
Hijo: Crap, the explosives. WOW, WHAT GUTS!
(Fiz is still standing even with his clothes covered in ashes. He's smoking weed, having used the explosion as a light.)
Hijo: Pure badass right there!
Hijo: Fiz walks all over Chip from his nuts to his face and lays on him for the cover. One...Two...THREE! IT'S OVER!!!!!!!
(The Bob Marley remix plays yet again and Fiz' hand is raised in victory!)
V.VON: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH DRFIZWUZ997XLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hijo: I am stunned and floored, what an amazing match, that was pure insanity!
Devon: GOD DAMN IT! Hijo, do you have 50 bucks on you? Come on you know I'm good for it?
Hijo: Geez, can we just check out the aftermath first.
(Chip comes too while the realization kicks in of what he has to do. The ref puts the laptop on his lap.)
Crowd: DRAW AN OC! *Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap * DRAW AN OC *Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap*
(Chip begins drawing but gets smoke blown in his face by Fiz much to his annoyance.)
Hijo: Hahahaha! I'm loving this!
Devon: Chip's drawing, yeah, yeah, ha, ha, so, about that money?
Hijo: Let me get out my wallet...while we make this transaction let's head to the back where we're backstage with Dean!
(Dean is seen in the back walking around looking for people.)
Dean: Right now we're just checking around, looking to see who is here that can be interviewed. There is a room right here maybe somebody is there.
(Dean opens the door and finds out it's the parking lot. He turns around to open the door but when it closed it was locked shut.)
Dean: FUCK! HELP, HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zee: Maybe we can help you out?
Dean: Oh god I'm about to get raped!
Wind: Drop the pepper spray!
Zee: Yeah, calm down. We want to get inside too. I think we can help each other out and stop standing here like tools.
Dean: Keep talking....
Zee: The plan is simple.....
(We're back in the building with another news report from Alex.)
Alex: In other news SSB now will have Wolf in....yeah sike, sorry had to do that, that's all I got for now!
V.Von: The following contest is a special sockpuppet free fall scheduled for one fall!
("Get Lucky" plays and out comes the socks. Coolio Rider, Ukivati, FAGeoff, OMGitsFugly, Whatzoeyhasfans, Spaz and Cody2015.)
Hijo: It's show time, this is going to be a crazy match, I can feel it!
Devon: You can bet that!
Hijo: Here we go, hey, hey, they are all throwing Cody2015 out of the ring!
Devon: They don't want that guy in the ring!
FAGeoff: You all go over the top rope now!
Hijo: They gang up and toss out FAGeoff too, a lot of unity in this match!
Ukivati: We're doing great B)
(The remaining wrestlers turn their attention to Ukivati, staring him down.)
Ukivati: Oh man ;-;
Hijo: And another man is getting tossed out as a group!
Spaz: Wait a minute. YOU TOSSED OUT KODY2015! SCREW YOU GUYS!
Devon: Spaz has just unleashed the beast! Out goes OMGitsFugly but Whatzoeyhasfans flips Spaz over the ropes and out of the ring!
Hijo: We are now down to two men, this is going to be good- WHATZOEYHASFANS NEEDS TO WATCH OUT!
(CoolioRider gets out of the corner he was waiting in and throws WhatZoey out of the ring after he had just dealt with Spaz, winning the match.)
Devon: This match ended just as soon as it began!
V.Von: Winner of this match and the king of sockpuppets....CoolioRider!
Hijo: A king has risen, the match was fast and furious but that's what you should expect from true fighters and trained trolls like these guys!
(A commercial advertising Season 2 of New Age, now known as New Age Warriors. We then see the security resting in the back.)
Security Guard: I swear those two guys are such a pain in the neck, what are they going to do next, break the wall down?
(The wall is broken down thanks to Dean's van)
Zee: I TOLD YOU WE'D GET IN SUCKERS!
WIND: HAHA, EAT IT LOSERS!
Security Guard: Crap!
(Alex is at his news desk again.)
Alex: It's time for some good news. The controversial yet critically acclaimed series : Hijotee TDI is back from hiatus and will return next week on Friday, tune in to see the hilarity!
Hijo: Ladies and gentlemen it is now time for the "Fight Me IRL" match between Chwiis and Rocker taped in the Australian Outback.
Devon: I'm excited, let's roll the footage boys!
(The match begins with Rocker walking around a field looking for Chwiis.)
Rocker: Where are you, you scally wag ass bitch!
(Rocker keeps walking around, he hears a sound come from behind a giant rock.)
Rocker: So there you are you string dick motherfucker!
(Rocker gets on top of the rock only to see a lake.)
Rocker: Maaaan. What the FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!?
(Chwiis jumps out from behind and pushes Rocker right into the lake.)
Chwiis: Ello' mates, today I'm going to be hunting fgts, a common thing around these parts. I'm going to need silence ok?
Rocker: I swear to god when I get my hands on you!
Chwiis: Crikey, umad bro?
Rocker: Kiss my motherfuckin a-
(Chwiis throws a rock and hits Rocker right into the face. He jumps in the swamp head first and rams head to head with Rocker. Chwiis lost his advantage but Rocker is left worse for wear as well.)
Rocker: Pain ain't going to stop me bitch!
(Rocker attempts to drown Chwiis but stops when he notices an alligator in the swamp. The two frantically swim away.)
Chwiis: You good mate?
Rocker: Yeah, you?
Chwiis: Yeah, I'm fine, ready to keep fighting?
Rocker: Bitch of course.
Hijo: ROCKER WITH A PIMP SLAP! I THINK I JUST SAW A TOOTH FLY OUT!
Devon: Chwiis isn't going to take that, he just kicked Rocker in the shins and followed up with a poke to the eye!
(Rocker swings blindly and one hits.)
Hijo: That was a sick uppercut to the jaw that has to hurt!
Chwiis: You know, hand to hand isn't my style, I got a friend who can take care of this!
(Rocky the kangaroo comes hopping toward them and lands a combo on Rocker.)
Rocker: I'M DONE! IT'S TIME TO KEANU REEVES THIS SHIT!
(Rocker dodges the kangaroo blow for blow, sweeps the legs, jumps in the air and goes down, hitting it right in it's face.)
Hijo: Rocker is going to town on that kangaroo, poor thing.
Devon: More like poor us, PETA is going to be up our ass.
(While Rocker is beating away at the kangaroo Chwiis is coming from behind with a chair. Just as he's about to swing down a figure grabs it from him.)
Chwiis: What the...
Devon: IT'S NOAH!!!!
(Noah punches Chwiis right in the balls and we hear a high pitched scream from him.)
Chwiis: YOU OVERRATED BITCH.............
Rocker: Pick his ass up!
(Noah holds him up as Rocker grabs him.)
Hijo: Oh dear god no.....
DIS DICK DRIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Chwiis is on the ground hurt but he's not done, he gets up and the match continues. Duncan from Hijotee TDI runs down the field and smacks Noah right on the ass.)
Noah: I don't know how to feel about that. Do it again.
Rocker: God damn it I knew I should have got Dave!
Hijo: Rocker knocked out both Duncan and Noah with that chair, he's tired of all this BS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Devon: Chwiis still has more back up! Heather is on the back of Rocker trying to restrain him!
Chwiis: Keep him still, I only have one dart! One..two...three...SHOOTING TIME!
(Chwiis fires but it's a miss.)
Chwiis: Crap, I missed!
Rocker: Pfft, no you didn't.
Heather: It's TDI...all over again.
(Rocker is able to get Heather off him and Chwiis are now on their own staring each other down.)
Chwiis: TDRPW ain't big enough for the both of us.
Rocker: Damn straight.
Rocker: You know what....fuck it.
(Rocker pulls out a gun and shoots Chwiis in the leg.)
Chwiis: AHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK MAN!? YOU DON'T PULL GUNS DAMN IT!!!!!!
Rocker: Says the fuck who?
Chwiis: Says the guy who wasn't really shot!
Devon: Chwiis was faking it, look, he's whistling, the hell is that going to do.
(All the animals Chwiis ever trained and hunted come down the field and trample Rocker.)
Chwiis: Hehe, thought I didn't have any more up my sleeve- AH!
(The animals trample Chwiis two and now both men are down.)
Rocker: Chwiis...you're a good fighter.
Chwiis: Same to you.
Rocker: You're still a bitch.
(Rocker crawls to Chwiis but out comes Noah, he opens his vest to reveal TNT.)
Noah: Thank you, come again! ALULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULULU!
(The area explodes and that's the last of the footage.)
Hijo: Well...I guess the match was a no contest.
Devon: What a great match. Special thanks to Shrek, his sponsorship helped us head over to Australian. Please buy his book "Shrek is love, Shrek is Life." let's hear words from the man himself
Shrek: Buy it or I'll fill your butt with my love.
Hijo: Uh, that match was great, I agree Devon. Speaking of great matches it seems Garret is about to stop one. TD and Ally were going to have a match but out he came to talk to his besties.
Garret: LIKE OMGZ, DON'T FIGHT GUYS, PLEASE, WE CAN'T LOSE OUR FRIENDSHIP!
Alex: GARRET I'M AFRAID I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS! THE MAN WHO YOU RAPED HAS FINALLY CONFESSED!
Marco: He made me do things, I can't even sit down any more *cries*
Alex: You sick, sick, freak, book him boys!
Garret: It was just a little prison game, come on Marco you can't tell me you didn't enjoy it a little! OMG DON'T PUT ME IN PRISON!
Alex: Well, my work here is done. Alex Toaster signing off after a great news day. I'll see you next time and remember: stay toasty.
(We see Dean, Zee and Wind driving backstage. The van runs out of gas and the three are stuck.)
Zee: Oh boy.
Wind: We're going to get beat up?
Dean: We? More like you two kidnappers! Get him guys!
Security: Hey, isn't that the serial pedophile from Maryland? KICK HIS ASS TOO!
Dean: Wait what?
(The three get beat up while Team Lush walk by, viewing the beating.)
Lush: Those underlings are a bunch of losers. Let's go kick those other loser's TDRPW asses.
Rocky: You think you're going to kick our asses, huh? You know it's no rules, we don't eve wait to get in the ring to fight.
Boograssi: God damn it Rocky give me time to have all my pills, don't get into a fight all willy nilly without consulting the senior member! I swear kids these days....but yeah we're whooping your asses and if you don't like it you're going to have to #DealWithIt.
(The two teams charge each other and a brawl breaks lose backstage, Rocky grabs a trashcan and dumps what's inside on Sonic before putting it on Lush's head and allowing Heo to kick it.)
Hijo: Well the fight is on, this is the biggest match in TDRPW history! Boograssi just tossed Mega right through the table and is now pounding on his face! But here comes Sonic with a 2x4 to the back of the head mean while Lush has regained his senses and rams Rocky's back right into the wall!
Devon: That 2x4 block of wood seems to have become Sonic's best friend! A 2x4 shot straight to the face of Heo and them one into Rocky's chest!
Hijo: Boograssi just grabbed the table cloth on the floor and is choking Sonic from behind, but wait he kicked Boo in the knee and the three men are running away!
Lush: Pick up the pace guys!
Sonic: Got to go faster! Faster!
Mega: Sonic X!
Mega: Sorry. SHIT!
(Team TDRPW found a short cut and managed to get in the path of their invaders.)
Rocky: No where to run and no where to hide!
Boograssi: Your ass is mine boys. Wait, let me reword that!
(The brawl breaks lose again and this time even more violent. Boo's head is sent into the wall so hard, it breaks. Heo and Mega are on the ground trading shots with Heo at the advantage and Rocky and Lush are brawling in the bathroom.)
Owen: Hey, I'm in here!
Rocky: Shut it fatty!
Devon: What does Rocky have in mind?
Hijo: He's giving Lush a swirlie! He's flushing away right now, how nasty!
Devon: Here comes Sonic going at it with that Fire Estinguisher, Rocky can't see a damn thingg and now he gets hit over the head with the thing. Metal against skull, that's got to hurt!
Heo: Guys, chill- WOAH! Stupid wet floor. What the hell is this? EWWW! HAND SANITIZER, HAND SANITIZER!
Hijo: Heo takes a shot to the head as well for his troubles! Mega is now in there and they are just assaulting these men, OH! LUSH JUST HIT BOOGRASSI WITH A WET FLOOR SIGN TO THE BACK!
Rocky: I'm not done yet!
Devon: Rocky just pushed Lush against the sink, what's he doing!
Rocky: You still seem wet from your drink let me get you some paper towels, want some more? Let me give you some!
Hijo: He's shoving paper towels down Lush's throat but his minions hold Rocky by the arms
Lush: You simple minded ruffian, you should learn to show respect to your superiors!
Rocky: Get that stick out of your ass would ya?
Devon: LUSH JUST TOSSED ROCKY'S HEAD RIGHT INTO THE BATHROOM WINDOW! That'll teach him to show some respect.
(Rocky is now laying on his stomach on the bathroom floor spitting out glass.)
Rocky: Me and my big mouth....
Hijo: Heo and Boo are fighting back though, this fight is spilling out of the bathroom and heading to the entrance way!
Devon: They're hopes are being dashed though, Heo and Boo are being held back as well.
Lush: It's time you guys take a good smacking to the face.
Heo: A good smacking to the face with what?
Boograssi: We probably don't want to know.
(Lush takes off one of his gloves and slaps both of them in the face with it.)
Heo: Oh thank god.
Lush: SHUT UP UNDERLING!
Rocky: SUP BITCHES!
(Rocky is standing on top of some construction in the building about 20 feet in the air. He dives on top of all of them, hurting himself in the process.)
Heo: *cough* Good move Rocky. If we don't make it through tonight I just want to say.....I stole your cashews.
Rocky: I FUCKIN' KNEW IT!
Boograssi: And I kind of took your cans of Coke.
Rocky: Well motherfucker...
Hijo: Sonic is back on his feet and he clubs the distracted Rocky on his back but it seems Team TDRPW are doing a number on Team Lush!
Lush: PLAN B! PLAN B!
(3 sexy Asian ladies in bikini's with bags of Panda Express invite Heo to follow them.)
Heo: Guys...I'll be right back!
Boograssi: Wait what!?
Heo: You guys can pull it off you just have to Bolieve in yourselves!
Rocky: That's just a bunch of bullshit!
Heo: ....Listen guys I've tried being positive but you guys want to be a bunch of dicks so I'll be a dick back. Fuck this and fuck you guys, I'm going to enjoy some Panda Express tonight and you guys aren't stopping me. Now excuse me while I go and get me those Roxanne's!
(Heo walks off leaving Boo and Rocky to crawl onto the stage and into the ring.)
Rocky: We can still pull this off.
Boograssi: Yeah, we're TDRP fucking W!
(The three members of Team Lush circle the ring, menancingly. Lush get's a cane and handcuffs, Mega gets a whip and Sonic has out a belt.)
Rocky: Boo, we are so fucked.
Boograssi: I know we are.
Devon: BOO AND ROCKY ARE GETTING THE ASS BEATING OF A LIFE TIME RIGHT NOW!
Hijo: This is sickening to watch!
Devon: Hehe, I haven't seen anything like this since Passion of The Christ, and I don't want to get my money back at the end, BONUS! HAHAHA!
Hijo: They're just beating the backs of both of these men, my god!
Devon: Sonic is pulling out two tables, fantastic!
Hijo: THEY'RE LIGHTING THEM ON FIRE, NO, NO, NO!!! HOLY SHIT ROCKY AND BOO WERE JUST POWERBOMBED THROUGH FLAMING TABLES, SOMEBODY GET A DAMN MEDIC!
Devon: Be quiet the flames are out!
Hijo: So close, it was almost over for Team TDRPW!
Devon: Team Lush still has has more planned I bet. Hey look, they have another man out there, it's Ultra!
Ultra: Think you can take shots at me in BoS huh?
(Ultra waits for Rocky to get to his knees before running and kicking him in the face. He pulls out some McDonalds cheeseburgers and starts shoving them into the mouths of both men.)
Hijo: They just spit it into the faces of their opponents and sent Ultra packing! The plan failed but Boo and Rocky are still in pain!
Devon: Face it Hijo, it's over!
Hijo: Over, eh? Well here comes Heo!
(Heo runs down the ramp with a piece of orange chicken in his mouth, he slides in the ring and cleans house. Mega and Sonic are on the floor so Rocky and Boo dive on top of them, leaving Lush and Heo in the ring together.)
Devon: Oh boy, the 2 owners face to face, this is going to get good!
(Dark walks into the ring with a chair in his hand.)
Hijo: It's getting even better, here's Dark! But whose side is he?
Devon: It's obvious, he's Team Lush all the way- WHAT!?
Hijo: Dark just nailed Lush! Heo covers! ONE, TWO, THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
V.Von: The winners of this match: TEAM TDRPW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hijo: THEY DID IT! THEY DID IT! Now here comes all of TDRPW, Rocker, TD, Chwiis, Fiz, RJ, Jro, Ally, Go, they're all here!
Devon: This makes me sick!
Hijo: Oh shut up!
(Heo gets hit with a chair for being Heo as the rest of TDRPW celebrates with confetti falling.)
(The TDRPW logo is shown just as we see static and something that seems to say Team Rocky vs RJ.)